Day Two – Now I Know I’m Going to Hell

For some bizarre reason, at the end of day two, I still have a whole £10 note in my pocket. Was this going to be way easier than I initially thought? The answer, quite simply, is no. When you consider the fact it is only the end of a Monday and I have the whole week to get through, never mind the weekend. And let’s not forget I’ve also pissed God off. So with that bearing heavily on my conscience after day one of this challenge, day two presented more of the same moral dilemmas.

I walked into work and it was a lovely sunny morning so I really didn’t mind and actually felt quite refreshed at the end of it all. I could get used to this walking malarkey. Anyway work was passing by quite peacefully until the deputy editor told me I had to go out for a story. “Great,” I thought. “Time to get out of the office” (which happens very rarely in journalism these days). Just one thing, the job was quite a way away and I presumed I was going to have to either get the train or a bus there and back. How much of my spending was that going to eat into? I sat panic-stricken wondering how I was going to cope when half of my weekly budget would be gone in one fail swoop. Fortunately I was then informed the photographer would be taking me. The panic was over. Phew, that was a close one (the drama that it was and all).

I brought my (very healthy) lunch into work and I also managed to stay away from the vending machine when my 4pm munchies started to kick in. Maybe this challenge was going to be useful for something after all.

As I was walking home, quite proud I had passed another day without even touching my weekly budget, I didn’t notice the guy I had just passed. When I heard him talking to me I naturally stopped and turned around to see who it was. Big mistake.

Now I’m not going to sit here, claiming to be an angel and tell you all that I always give money to homeless people, because I don’t. We’d all be out of pocket if everyone who lived in a city gave money to every beggar or homeless person they passed. But sometimes I do. If I genuinally think some poor soul is in need of money for food rather than anything esle, then I do always give them something. But most of the time I do what everyone else does and pretend they are not there and walk on (don’t deny it because we all do it).

But when you actually have to stop, turn around and look at a man who is asking you for money straight in the eye and tell him no takes a pretty hard-hearted, ruthless person. But that is just what I did. The same thought process went through my mind as it did at church. If I hand over my whole £10 note then all my money for the week is gone. Never mind this poor man who could probably live off £10 for two or three weeks. I cursed myself that I hadn’t broke into the note yet and walked away practically crippled with guilt and fretted about it the whole way home. I still feel guilty about it now. Was God doing this to punish me? Probably. But one thing is for sure, I am definitely going to go to hell after all this unless I take some drastic action. I’m sure any of you would have done the same so please spare me the judgement.


I set my alarm 30 minutes early again and vowed that I would break into the note first thing in the morning. I now have another promise to add to yesterdays – when this is all over I am going to give the first homeless person I see whatever money I have in my purse. So much for saving money out of all this.

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