Speed Tweeting

Forget Christmas. January is the worst month for being single. The dark, dreary and depressing weather means you’re stuck indoors with nothing to keep you warm except your furry hot water bottle and the remote control. You’re both a few pounds lighter and a few pounds heavier after spending and eating so much at Christmas. You realise being fat and skint is the worst combination and curse yourself for having polished off that box of After Eights and buying that expensive dress, which you don’t even fit into anymore.

As punishment you’ve set yourself a month of detoxing, dieting and detention at weekends. You’re all too aware that yet another Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and you fret more about it now than at the time because, lets face it, by February 14  you’ve managed to reinstate your social life and surround yourself with friends and champers, all necessities for day-to-day living.


So you can imagine my despair and disgust when, not only did I find out the Welsh have their own Valentine’s Day (St Dwynwen’s Day) which falls tomorrow (25 January), but to rub salt in the wound, I sat down to read the Guardian only to be met with a free Guide to Dating: everything we needed to know about how to go on that first date, second date, speed date and blind date. Who made them the experts?

Not feeling like I wanted to be reminded that I am neither dating nor have any potential to be in the near future (simply because I’m too busy of course), I decided to read my news online.

As I logged into my email account, I was confronted with dozens of new emails telling me that ‘Ed59’, ‘Nice Dave’, ‘BeccaOnline’ and a whole other plethora of people were now following me on Twitter. And on and on it proceeded throughout the day. I’ve been a Tweeter for three months and now, today of all days, my site has suddenly begun to explode with followers. I don’t know whether to be scared or flattered.

So as I mosied through the profiles of my new-found cyber friends, deciding who I was or wasn’t going to follow, I realised it was taking me all of 30 seconds to make this crucial decision. If their Tweets or profile page didn’t impress me then  I wasn’t prepared to follow them.

With the Guardian’s article on speed dating still freshly in my mind (I had a sneaky peek, simply for research purposes), I started to wonder if anyone had yet formed a relationship through Twitter. A quick glance at someone’s page, a read of their bio info, a visit to their website and maybe even a quick scroll through their followers and you’ve formed a definite picture. Why, you can find out more about someone in 30 seconds on Twitter than you ever could in three minutes at a speed dating event.

I can see it now. Boy follows girl, girl follows boy, boy Tweets girl, girl falls in love. A few passing Tweets, followed by a few flirty @ replies, swiftly followed by a few risque direct messages. The next thing you know you’re sitting in a bar with a red rose beside you waiting for the mystery Tweeter. And the rest, as they say, is history.


Last week, I blogged that Twitter was the new Facebook. I think I underestimated its powers. Twitter has the potential to be the new Cilla Black. It’s only a matter of time before we get the first Twitter love birds and I expect many more to follow suit. You heard it here first. I’m off to buy a new hat.


P.S. I do not condone the meeting of strangers who have met online and anyone willing to do so should proceed with extreme caution!

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